Love and Marriage

 

Caring

Desire

Partner

Hormones

Conditioning

Biologic imperatives

Expectations, voiced or not

Innocence lost, innocence gained

How close is too close, how much is too much?

Not understanding, understanding

Different worlds, same world

Why do I want to be angry?

Glorious and amazing

Wishful thinking

Commitment

Projection

Entangled

Creative

images

Guan Yin (Kannon in Japanese) , Bodhisattva of compassion, in female form. The male form was originally named Avolikiteshvara. She is the “hearer;” she hears the cries of all suffering, and will go down to the pits of hell gladly when she is called.

After 41 years of marriage to a woman I love, that’s about the only way I can understand it or express it, with poetry. And I rarely write poetry.

I doubt this is gender specific or sexual orientation specific from what I can see. And there are many relationships that are long-term and loving that I imagine do not encompass many of these things. This is simply what spilled out of me about my 44 years of a committed relationship with a woman I love as best as I know how.

I’ll come up with other poems about other relationships.

The real point is that I suspect there is something very deep and profound that these impressions of my life in love and in marriage circle around, that even the most solid day-to-day love can only approach or maybe only dimly reflect as long as egos and agendas are involved:

A love beyond conditioning and expectations.

Abiding compassion.

I think that is the flavor of Xin, the heart of Mind, the taste of existence.

And it doesn’t get old.

Praise and Blame

neutrons

The magnetic field

 

Nyogen Roshi says Maezumi Roshi told him nothing is really hidden.  It seems some things are hidden to me in plain sight.  They are in my mental blind spot. That is the nature of delusion!

Anger is often like that for me.

Irritation, impatience, resentment and dissatisfaction are anger. Things aren’t how you want them to be, and you just don’t like it. Look carefully, that is anger. The point of recognizing anger isn’t to get bent out of shape about it, to suppress it, or to blame yourself for it. But if you don’t even recognize it, it owns you.

A most subtle manifestation of anger is praise and blame. This is important in all relationships, but particularly with those closest to you, including children. Continue reading

Work As The Expression of Love

When I was a teenager thinking about life and death and my place in the cosmos, I did not trust science at all. I had the early 19th century Romantic, Mary Shelly’s Dr. Frankenstein and his ungodly creation, view of science and progress as being out of control, aberrations not worth the few baubles they provided. Science led to atomic weapons and to pollution, serving as the tool of soulless greed and reveling in intellectual arrogance. Progress was a cancer, uncontrolled and uncontrollable. Science and progress had become what we would now call “too big to fail,” and I wanted no part of them, at least not as a source for answers to the questions that mattered. Of course, the real question that mattered was when I was going to get laid, and when that happened, when I would again, but still, it seemed to me that we had likely taken a wrong turn somewhere around fourteen thousand years ago with the invention of agriculture. Continue reading